132 - Tyrell Elon Zuzerzos Buys the Unites States (a prequel story to How To Confuse A.I.)

Note (P.W.): When I opened my 2022 book, How To Confuse AI, with Tyerll Elon Zuzerzos celebrating (ironically, satirically, sarcastically) the 5-year anniversary of buying the United States of America (the book is set in the future - in 2075, so he 'bought' the country in 2070) I considered it a joke, a satire. You can check out some of my other posts and videos if you need insight into WHO Tyrell Elon Zuzerzos is, but I don't think you have to dig TOO deep to figure it out. He's not just one person. He is a combination of a few people, plus the fictional character Tyrell from the movie Blade Runner (he created the 'replicants' - the simulated humans). It feels appropriate, in the zeitgeist of the moment, to revisit this character and the 'joke' idea of 'buying' the USA. If you're reading this in the future, please look back at the month of February, 2025 for a little reference point for the moment we are living in.  In short, I am scared, terrified, that my 'joke' will prove to be too accurate a prediction.

TYRELL ELON ZUZERZOS BUYS THE UNITED STATES

-A prequel story

Tyrell Elon Zuzerzos strode purposefully down the Capitol building hallway. "Senator Cavanaugh!" he said, catching the senator off guard.

"Ah, Tyrell," the senator responded, hiding his annoyance.

"When is the committee considering my offer? We have no time to lose."

"We'll vote this afternoon, 2 o'clock," Senator Cavanaugh replied.

"I want to come."

"Tyrell, it's a closed door meeting."

"I'll be there. I'll bring donuts." Zuzerzos smiled at the senator and patted his cheek condescendingly.

That afternoon at precisely 2pm, Zuzerzos burst through the committee room door, carrying a deluxe box of Krispy Kreme, and smiled broadly at the collection of Senators.

"For your pleasure and enjoyment!" Zuzerzos proclaimed, setting the box of donuts on the table.

"Mr. Zuzerzos," Chairman Voglezang snorted. "This is a closed door meeting. Outsiders are not allowed."

"I'm no longer an outsider, Senator! I'm in charge! Have a donut, compliments of your new owner."

"But - "

"Senators!" Zuzerzos projected warmly, "I am the best friend you'll ever have. I am buying the country! All of its debt! You're welcome! It's the only solution," he continued. "I am the only person who can do this."

"But here in America we vote for these things. It's our job - "

"This is too important for a vote. Gentlemen - and ladies," he offered, as an aside, to the three female senators, "this is too important for your small brains. My brain is the only one equipped to handle such a momentous decision. It's for your best. You have to trust me on this. And when I say you have to trust me, I mean it literally. You have no choice. I'll let you all keep your jobs for now, but that could change. check your emails for middle-of-the-night firings!"

"Mr. Zuzerzos!" 

Senator Baker, from Wisconsin, stood abruptly and stared the trillionaire down. "We are the elected officials of the United States. You will not purchase our country until we have voted on it!"

"Too late," Zuzerzos laughed. "Check the central bank. Wire transfer just went through. Congratulations, employees! The USA is OUT OF DEBT! Now, have a donut. Come on. Let's celebrate. It's for the best. Trust me. No one else knows as much as me. Eat up!"

Zuzerzos clicked his thumb an forefinger, and the door opened, as five overly happy assistants entered, unfurling a banner that read, "SAVING HUMANITY (whether they like or not)."

[Enjoy the free audiobook...]

Peter Wick

February 14, 2025

131 - The Pigeon in The Fountain Bed music video

Warning: if you follow the link at the bottom of this post and watch the video, you are taking your life into your own hands. I will do everything I can to prepare you. You make the decision on your own, you take matters into your own hands. You can't say I didn't warn you.

A year ago I posted here about something from the ancient past (well...MY ancient past, anyway), a little thing titled, The Pigeon in The Fountain bed.

I'll link to last year's post shortly, but assuming many of you don't want to go back and read a  year-old post, I'll give you the basics.

There was a band called Mr. Epp and The Calculations. We were teenagers at the time. The band started out as a joke, since most of us could not play any instruments. Then, slowly, this crazy idea began to grow. the joke somehow turned into something real. The band - which split up in 1984 - became part of the family tree of Seattle music history, a seed that grew into the tree called 'Grunge.' When Nirvana and Pearl Jam, along with many other 'grunge' bands (including Mudhoney, featuring someone you'll see as a teenager in this video), exploded onto the scene in the early 1990's many of us who knew and saw early versions of these bands felt a strange mix of: pride, confusion, laughter, more pride, encouragement (that guys who just wanted to play fun music with an edge to it) could actually make waves in this world), and then, again, pride.

Here is the link to last year's post: 

https://peterwick.blogspot.com/2024/01/ 

At that time, a year ago, something that I thought was lost had resurfaced. An old audio cassette tape was digitized, along with some of our old super 8  movie footage, and in my mind the possibility of a music video was born.

Let me set the scene a little bit. We were teenagers living in a world - and with a group of friends - who were only interested in one thing; breaking all creative and artistic rules.

If there was a rule, we broke it. Naturally, at the time, this led us to 1980s punk rock. But aside from that, we were also 'Avant Garde.' We loved anyone and everyone who broke rules, so we set out to break them ourselves.

Then we heard an announcement on local radio station KZAM, by DJ Stephen Rabow, that any local band that send him a tape would be played on the radio.

Cue the joke-band taking one small baby step toward becoming real.

How real?

Well, as an Avant Garde collective, we were real enough to turn on a tape recorder. Were we a 'BAND,' in the same way other bands were? Not exactly.

Anyway, you've been warned.

Watch at your own risk:

Peter Wick

January 14, 2025