January 20, 2025 - They finally did it! they elected a rock as President of the United States!
Everyone said it was only a bluff. People. were going around saying, "I would vote for a rock over Donald Trump, but Biden is too old"...so they did it. Last August the Democrats held their convention, finally convinced Biden to step down - for the good of the country - and in his place they nominated a rock.
President Lenny The Rock
...And the rock won. In a land slide. The only state Donald Trump won was Florida.
It's been a wild ride. The press doesn't get much from President Lenny The Rock. As you can see, he does have a mouth and eyes, but he doesn't say much. All the more mystery to admire.
At a recent press conference, reporters shouted questions at Lenny The Rock. "What is your plan for Social Security?" "What about the on-going war in Ukraine?" "How do you respond to Donald Trump's claims that you are a secret mastermind controlling all voters in America?"
He just stared at the reporters. He said nothing...because....you know...he's a rock.
"President Lenny The Rock coy regarding plans once he takes office," the headline said.
A CNN reporter stood breathlessly outside the White House and explained; "The new President - Lenny The Rock - refused to say exactly what his plans are as he takes office. He's keeping things under wraps. Some think this is a strategy designed to keep people guessing. Others suggest it is simply because, as a rock, the President cannot speak. The only thing we know for certain is that his super big round eyes never blink."
"He projects an aura of calm authority," one campaign staffer told a reporter. "He's in command. He's thoughtful. When you tell him something he looks you in the eye. He's like those pictures where the eyes seem to follow you wherever you are in the room. He doesn't say much, but, on the other hand, there are no outbursts. No emotional roller coaster ride, like you have with the other guy."
"How do you know what he wants?" The reporter asked.
The staffer was quiet for a moment. "Um, well, that's something we try to keep in-house, you know. His process, how he makes decisions. that's just something we don't talk about."
In the end, we are a happy nation. Having a rock as President gives us a sense of calm, a sense of security that we never would have had under another Donald Trump term.
Maybe he is only a rock. Maybe he does not have a brain, or the ability to speak, but at least he is not Donald Trump.
Small victories!
Peter Wick
July 13, 2024
