My name is Commander.
I am a GOOD BOY!
I know I'm a good boy, because Dad told me. Dad is the President of the United States, Joe Biden. He told me I'm a good boy, so that's how I know I'm a good boy.
My job is to bite bad people.
Like that guy who I bit who was wearing the thing in his ear. He was talking into some kind of thing in his hand. He didn't seem good to me, so I bit him.
Some people acted mad, saying "No!" and yellling at me.
Then Dad pet the top of my head real good and said, "No more biting! No more biting," which I think means that I am supposed to do more biting, so I went out and bit another guy.
I love biting people!
This time it was that guy named Kevin McCarthy. He came over to the house and was talking with Dad all about letting the government shut down.
So I bit him.
Then everyone was saying, "No more biting! No more biting!" again.
So went out to find the next bad person to bite.
I like my job. It's a good job. Some people just don't seem right, you know, so they need to be bitten.
One time we were out in the back yard of the house, and some guy who spoke funny was talking to Dad. I heard someone say something about this guy being the head of some other country, whatever a country is.
He had this really funny way of talking. It sounded weird to me. I didn't recognize any of the words he said. there was no 'good boy,' or 'what a good dog,' or anything else that I know.
So I bit him.
Again, lots of people started talking real loud, A lot of commotion. Then Dad pet my head real real good, and said, "No more biting! No more biting!"
So I went out to do more biting.
What a job! To do something you love means you never have to 'work.'
I love biting people. It gives me a sense of purpose in life.
And I always get a treat!
What a life!
So, now I guess I have been transfered. I don't live at the big house anymore. I'm at a smaller house and only see Dad a few times a month. But when I see him he still pets my head real good and tells me I'm a good boy.
So, I know I'm doing a good job.
So, watch out. Don't be one of those people who seems bad, Don't be like that guy who gets on TV and says Dad does things wrong. I really need to find that guy. I really need to get inside the TV and bite that guy.
I have a job to do.
Peter Wick
October 14, 2023
