Wednesday, April 14, 2021

94 - A Royal Mess

 I know a British family. I interact with them over Zoom (or equivalent video chit chat) about as much as I see anyone at the moment. I found myself softening my criticism of royalty around them recently, with the many stories of Palace intrigue and tragedy we've all been ignoring...I mean, living through.

First there was Harry and Meghan quitting the Royal Family. Then, just a week before I write this, Prince Phillip passed away at the age of 99.

I want to be respectful of those who are mourning the old guy's passing.

What I respect the most, though, is anyone born into this thing called "Royalty," who is then willing to quit the whole business. Bravo!

My British friends didn't feel the same way. They felt that Meghan should have known what she was getting into and just "sucked it up." You know, you're marrying into a Royal Family. Some them are in their 90's. They've never had to deal with the real world. They're going to be racist! Suck it up!

I can't think about royalty anymore without hearing the dialog from Monty Python's Holy Grail, when Graham Chapman (King Arthur) comes upon some paupers farming (well, they seem more to just be moving mud around). One of them, Michael Palin, is going on and on about how they live in an autonomous collective. Tired of listening to him, King Arthur says, "Be Quiet! Be Quiet, please. I ORDER you to be quiet."

"Order! Who does he think he is?" Terry Jones asks.

"I am your King"

"Well, I didn't vote for you."

"You don't vote for Kings!" blurts a flustered King Arthur.

"Well how'd you become King, then?"

"The Lady of The Lake," pines Arthur, who then goes on to wax poetic about Excalibur and Divine Providence.

"Listen," counters Palin. "Strange women lyin' in ponds, distributing swords is no basis for a system of government."

I couldn't agree more.

England isn't the only country that still has Royalty. Spain has a Royal family and, even worse, a Royal soccer team. Their name is Real Madrid. In Spanish 'Real' means 'Royal.' And I'm not just being cranky because Real Madrid beat Barcelona (a good solid non-royal team) 2 to 1 this last weekend!

Somehow American soccer got the idea that it's okay to be Royal, and the team in Salt Lake City named themselves "Real Salt Lake." This is anti-American, of course. There should never be a royal soccer team in America, and especially not in Utah.

Sorry, I think I'm losing track of my point.

Hey, I have an idea, while we're mourning the passing of that 99 year-old Prince, how about if we also get weepy and respectfully teary-eyed, and mourn the passing the ancient concept of Royalty.

Make that team in Madrid name themselves something like the damn "Madrid Wolfhounds," or something. You know, something respectful.

Peter Wick

April 14, 2021