Thursday, July 12, 2012

#7. Democrats, Republicans, and Aliens from Outer Space

I have been surprised to come across, not one, but two important news items involving Aliens from outer space recently.

First, reported by Jon Stewart on The Daily Show, a recent Presidential poll found that Barack Obama is leading Mitt Romney by a staggering 65% to 35% when respondents were asked who they trusted more to deal with an invasion by Space Aliens.

Now, you might be tempted to think this was a joke. I certainly did, until I read another story in which an ex-CIA Agent confirmed that the Roswell, New Mexico incident of 1947 was in fact a crashed Alien space craft, and included dead Alien bodies.

This could turn the year's election on its head...but not in the way you might think.

In 2008 the prestigious journal, National Enquirer, reported that Barack Obama had wrapped up important support from space Aliens during his Primary battle against Hilary Clinton.

Why? Why would the space Alien Politicos back Obama? Had Bill Clinton squandered his Alien support while he was President?

And if Obama has the support of extra-terrestrials, can we really trust him to handle the coming invasion?

This is not to suggest that Mitt Romney would be better. I agree with the 65% who do not trust Mitt Romney to respond adequately when staring down Alien photon torpedoes.

So, what are we to make of all this? Are we trapped? Are we doomed to re-elect a President who may already be in cahoots with those who are about to invade us from space? Is our only option a starched technocrat who will probably be anti-space-Alien only until it helps his career to become pro-space-Alien?

These are rhetorical questions, dear readers. I do not have the answers.

The game may already be over.

Does anyone know how Ron Paul feels about space Aliens?

Hm? He IS one!?


Dennis Kucinch?

Never mind.

-Peter Wick
July 12, 2012