The festering collection of petty ten-year-old impulses that is our President often complains that 'No one is treated worse' by the press than he is.
His press coverage is 'ninety-three percent negative,' he tweets, citing a Harvard study.
Kellyanne Conway, on one of her many visits to CNN recently, used this comaplaint to avoid answering a question about - uh, no one remembers what the actual question was, because she is such a Jedi mind-master. "Coverage of this President is overhwelmingly negative," she said, weirdly seeming to suggest that this is somehow unfair.
I watched her say it. Then I waited for the punchline.
No punchline came.
So I looked at the TV screen and said out loud, "...AND?..."
First, please do not judge me for talking to CNN the way my dad used to yell at Referees when watching basketball on TV....I mean, we live in troubling times...
I just couldn't put my finger on what everyone was missing here.
Then it hit me.
President Trump complaining about negative press coverage is like the Ebola virus complaining about bad press.
It's like the Stomach Flu complaining about bad press. We never focus on the POSITIVE things Stomach Flu does...you know...like...weight loss...
"I lost 30 pounds, thanks to Stomach Flu...I mean, between the constant vomiting, and the diarrhea, I had no trouble reaching my target weight. I just slimmed right down!"
We could make lists comparing things Trump is doing to the country alongside a list of things infectious diseases do to a person's body, and see how the two lists match up.
Let's start with a list of things Trump is doing:
-Using racist dog-whistle language
-Selling out the environment to the highest corporate bidder
-Separating babies from their poor, desparate immigrant parents
-Appointing incompetent, corrupt Cabinet officials
-Insulting - via tweet - anyone and everyone who disagrees with him
-Abusing his constitutionally-limited powers
-Did I mention lying?
You know what, my opinion of infectious diseases is geting better and better by the minute. Stomach Flu has its good side.
Ebola Virus has been getting a bad rap!
The idea that Trump is a 'victim' of bad press, is like totalling your parents car in a drunken after-party car race, and then complaining about how unfair it is that your parents grounded you for a week.
If you don't want negative press, maybe don't be a petty little child.
MAKE INFECTIOUS DISEASES GREAT AGAIN!
May 14, 2018